Reinita in the Garden (Sacred Garden)

Pencil on Rives BFK paper.

7.5" x 9.75"

12/26/2010

As a child, I loved reinitas. These little birds always flew around my house, and I used to love their yellow chests. I had not seen them for a long time, until today.

Today, this reinita seems to have penetrated the veil between my imaginary garden and El Yunque, the rain forest in Puerto Rico. Now I am inviting other animals into the garden: the Puerto Rican boa, the múcaro, the parrots, the bat, the iguana who is coming from La Mona to visit, the hummingbird, the guaraguao, and of course, the Coquí. They are bringing some Yuca into the garden, so we can grow it. The goddesses of el Yunque have agreed to visit as well.

Just Born (Sacred Garden)

Pencil on Rives BFK paper.

7.5" x 9.75"

12/26/2010

Just Born is part of the series Sacred Garden. This drawing of a mother holding her newborn baby —surrounded by leaves and vines and life— is inspired by the sacred moment of birth. Not all of us are able to have a natural birth, so I drew this for all moms who wish to re-imagine the moment they hold their newborn baby surrounded by all the bounty of nature, which holds mother and child, sustaining them, and protecting them as they are both born into their new life.

Merry Christmas!

A poem for girls, A poem about freedom

I created this poem for the P.S. 57 bathroom murals, and now finally got to give it a new shape as a digitally illustrated image. It is a poem that I hope speaks to girls with thoughts about freedom, a word and an idea that has been essential to me as a person and as an artist.

I believe freedom is about being able to visualize yourself as the best possible version of who you can be, and acting upon that vision. And it is also about embracing your dreams, and refusing to let them go once grown-up life begins. I wish I had been invited to seriously think about freedom as a young girl, and this is why I dedicated this poem to the girls!

I am currently working on transforming the boy's poem into one of these poetry prints. And this one is now available in my etsy shop in both Spanish and English! ($12, Free shipping!)

My Guadalupe

"I don't believe in anything, but I believe in the Guadalupe..."

A phrase for thought by a writer and friend.

A writer said this to me, but I'm tempted to say that I have heard this same phrase from at least two other people this year. It is a phrase with which I fully identify, and a guiding principle in painting this Virgin of Guadalupe for Reverend Winnie and St. Mark's in the Bowery in gratitude for her support of Song of the Magdalene. And in gratitude to Guadalupe Tonantzin. It was at St. Marks where a few years ago I attended a dedication of an Aztec dance group to the Virgin of Guadalupe. I had never paid much attention to her, but that day she was there as the invocation for the Elements began and continued with the ancestral dancing that the group would perform in her honor. That night I brought her flowers.

I think we are all willing to bring her flowers because we can also call her Tonantzin, which in Aztec mythology and among present day Nahuas,means 'Our Revered Mother'. The faith and reverence so many people place on her is transmitted even to those of us who have a hard time believing in anything concrete.

And even when we don't believe in anything (or when we believe in everything, which is more or less the same thing...) mythologies and the truths they contain, whether they come in the context of organized religion or of personal realization, are as valid as any other belief system when they provide hope and comfort, sight and wisdom. Tonantzin is revered for her wisdom in knowing the hearts of her children.

I painted her with the colors I associate with wisdom and with the Earth: yellow, brown, terracotta, and gold, and a bluish green for hope. She is the Mother (Earth), and she is meeting the Father (Sky, White Light) without taking her gaze away from those who look up to her. Whether we dance or paint, play music or write, whether we believe or don't believe, we know that with her loving smile she will accept our gifts of joy.

Exotic Ladies

Musa (Muse)

Reina de la espuma (Queen of Sea Foam)

Ninfa (Nymph)

Mantilla azul (Blue Mantilla)

Jazmines (Jasmines)

Earlier this year, I began using tile pain for the poetry murals at P.S. 57 and found it to be a fun medium, bright and textural. You also kind of have to let go of perfectionism... it is very difficult but the effects can be interesting. I had to erase the entire background of Queen of Sea Foam, but in the end, I loved the effect. I got the idea from the process of erasing, which reminded me that paint thinner can be a medium to create a marbleized effect. My favorite part of this kind of painting is using the outliners, which define and also give texture to the final piece.

Mary Magdalene of Peace

As a strong character of Christian mythology, Mary Magdalene brings balance to the idea of what a woman is, should be or could be. When the world has respect for all human beings, and learns to consider women as equals all over the world, we will be closer to true peace. In essence, this is what attracts me to the Magdalene: she represents the potential of changing the the world through love and peace by achieving true humanity. Peace is like a baby in her arms, ready to take flight at any moment.

***

This Magdalene is available in my ***new Etsy Shop*** as a print. Use the coupon code "GRANDOPENING" for a super special 50% discount on all items until Dec. 20!

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Tears

Mary Magdalene of the Tears, Oil on canvas board, 7" x 9", 2010

Beloved disciple,

your tears arrived,

when you embraced,

your vision,

weaving the warp and weft,

where we now rest,

in the perpetual lace

of Resurrection.

(Verses from the poem Tears of Freedom)

In Spanish, there is a very popular expression: "Crying like a Magdalene." I don't know if the same is true for other languages and cultures, but for Puerto Ricans, the Magdalene is always the image of crying in desperation. This Magdalene, the last one I completed (for now!), is the only one I painted with tears as an iconographical reference. But once again, I am substituting the traditional meaning and offering a new interpretation. In this painting the tears are not a reference to pain, but to freedom.

Mary Magdalene must have experienced an immense amount of pain. She chose to face it. She stayed by the Cross as her Beloved died a terrible death. She did not run away before or after, but lived through it. Those of us who know pain of any kind, physical or emotional, know that once we live through it, something happens. Nothing is the same as it was before, there is a calm, a silence of a meditative and clear nature. A silence that lets us hear its lesson.

Pain is a great teacher. Once we meet pain, we will forever be aware of the suffering of others. What we could not imagine possible in terms of suffering, we realize as true after knowing pain. Empathy and compassion can blossom out of this experience, and a new kind of strength as well. It is as if pain can have the power weaken our bodies, while also containing the possibility of adding muscle to our souls.

I, like many people, have experienced both physical and emotional pain. The physical pain of cancer is excruciating. It creates an impenetrable layer of fear that can soon make you wish death. It is clear and loud, like a bomb. Emotional pain can be the opposite. It is so quiet and ineffable that we can't notice it as it takes over our life and then crawls all over us like a slimy snail. Both can take us into the most immense loneliness, and both can kill us, or liberate us.

Why can pain liberate us? Because when we face it, we make the decision to be free. Even if we cannot get rid of the pain, we can be free to start finding a new way to live, a new way to see. There are terrible things in the world, and I cannot console or offer any words of comfort to the victims of all the terrible errors of humanity, or to the victims of illness or even of pure chance. All I can say, from my very limited perspective, is that when people embrace their experience of pain, they make a difference in the lives of those who are just beginning to live it, and as a result, their own lives acquire purpose. Of all the things I read about cancer during the moments when I first had to face it, only the stories of survivors stayed with me. That was all I had, and that was all I held on to. The Magdalene had more than I did at the time. She had her faith in the Resurrection.

Whether we understand the Resurrection as a literal or interpretative event, faith remains the base of its redeeming power. Faith is the notion that we can be reborn out of a life-changing experience. Mary Magdalene was reborn through her tears of pain, the same tears that brought her liberation from being a woman to being a human being in its full expression. Her tears formed the veil she penetrated in order to see the true nature of her teacher, and in order to see her own true nature. It was through her faith in her vision of the Resurrection that she brought the news to the world that we were more than just our flesh, that we were beyond sin. If we accepted the redeeming nature of death and rebirth, we would be born into a new being free from the archaic notion of sin, free from judgement, free from the restraints we had invented in response to fear. She brought faith in answer to fear, rebirth in answer to death.

So from now on, when we go to a museum or a church and see a crying Magdalene, we can choose to remember that the purpose of the Crucifixion was the Resurrection, and that the tears we see washed her eyes of the illusion of death in order to see life. Her vision, of life reborn, of life never dead, can be the warp and weft on which we can place our faith to believe that out of our pain, a new life can be born.

***

Tanya

Prayerfully painting for more love, for more peace, for more faith, for our world to be reborn.

http://www.tanyatorres.com

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Hibiscus

Mary Magdalene of the Hibiscus, Oil on panel, 9" x 12", 2010. $350

A couple of years ago, I received a hibiscus plant from my husband. The flowers are particularly beautiful and "magdalenic." The colors are those I use to paint Magdalenes: yellow, fuschia, red and the mix of all these, bright orange. The plant would bloom every day with a new hibiscus or two. And I enjoyed each of them, looked forward to them, photographed them, told people about them. They were such a gift! A gift I needed to pass on.

I once read a book titled The Gift. It is an investigation on the nature of the gift. When we think of a gift, we think of something we might give or get, but what this book explained is that a gift is something that is meant to be passed on. Well, pass on, but not as in "regifting"! When we pass on a gift, we honor the gift we really like!

When we are given a gift, we are supposed to also give a gift. We do not have to give it to the same person who originally gave us the gift, but we can pass it on to someone else. The book told about a tribe where a gift would be passed around the different members of the community, with its pertinent gratitude ceremonies, until it reached full circle. The gift was a precious object, but what made it really meaningful was the action of giving it, of passing it on to someone else.

This book was assigned in one of my art classes. Although back then I didn't understand why, now I think it is important for artists, as well as people in all professions, to consider the nature of their gift. We come into the world with certain talents or inclinations. If we are lucky and obstinate, we develop them. But what good are they if they just stay hidden from the world. These talents, aptitudes, gifts we bring, are meant to be shared. This is the way we can help bring peace and harmony into the world. Have you ever given someone a very special gift? Have you made a gift with your own hands or worked hard to get enough money with the intention of buying a gift? Or even just looked up a thousand websites in search of something very, very special for someone you love? At that moment, when we search, make, work for the gift and at the time we give the gift, it is as if a light glows really bright. It creates a connection with the other person that shows the love that the gift brings. And our souls, in that connection, feel fulfilled and in love. We can think of everything we do as a gift. When we spend time with someone, we give them a gift. When we write a letter, or a blog!, we give a gift. When we work, we offer our knowledge and aptitude as a gift to those who receive the product of our work. Doesn't this make work sound a lot better?!

This is why I painted the flowers around Mary Magdalene, offering her a gift in gratitude for her many gifts, passing on a gift made with love. Mary Magdalene has been an immense gift for me. I paint her in the hope that I can offer that gift back to the world so that it will not remain stagnant inside of me. I hope that I can give you the bright colors of love that the Magdalene gives me, so that you can transform them in your own heart, and in the fire of your own passion, and share them with the world... until it comes full circle and we all get to share in the great gift of life.

***

 If you would like greeting cards or a print, I invite you to visit my store!

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Heart

Mary Magdalene of the Heart, Oil on canvas, 16" x 20", 2010

An ancient Egyptian quote reads: "The Heart is the source of all knowledge." In my paintings, this is the meaning of the heart. Mary Magdalene meditates with her heart, made visible here. We process information with our mind, but we really get to learn it when we distill it in our heart. What good are numbers or facts or theories if we cannot use them for a noble purpose?

Mary Magdalene learned about love, and this knowledge transformed her by letting her shed her old self to become what we call a saint, or an enlightened being through whom love flows directly from the Source. In order for this to happen, her entire being must have had become connected to her heart. The teachings she received were transformed into knowledge at the center of her being, where her purity and innocence remained intact behind all the layers of life she must have carried as a human being, just like each of us.

In the chakra system, the heart chakra is at the center of the chest. It stands for love, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, renewal, harmony, growth and peace. Mary Magdalene's heart is filled with all of these, and with fire. In the passionate fire of the heart, we patiently simmer all that is good until we create the healthy concoction that sustains us and gives us a clear perception of all that surrounds us. It is the antidote to fear and the elixir of a purposeful life.

Is there any other purpose to life than love? When we light it with the fire of passion, it melts the ice that fear tries hard to keep unthawed.

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Light

Mary Magdalene of the Light, Oil on Canvas Board, 16" x 20", 2010

I do not claim to know about everything I paint. In fact, it is through painting that I find clues as to what I should be learning. Painting the Magdalene has guided me in discovering the larger dimensions of our world.

I often get the urge to draw a canvas when it is impossible to begin painting, such as the last few minutes in my studio before leaving for the night. I remember I drew this Magdalene at one such moment, and then, months later, began painting. Since this is a very symmetrical image, I knew I must work in ways that complement its symmetry, but also help the eye move around the painting and provide variety. I found myself lightening more and more certain areas of her face, and semi realizing that I was painting the chakras.

I knew extremely little about the chakras. I knew there were chakras, and that's pretty much it. I must have seen pictures, no doubt, but it still surprised me to be painting the Magdalaene with chakras. The painting stayed unfinished in my living room for probably more than one year, or even two. I was not sure how to finish it, or why I had painted it. I really didn't feel qualified to paint things with chakras, but in the meantime, I began learning about color, energy and healing. Although there is still much to learn, I believe I finally understand why I painted the Magdalene this way.

I believe the human Magdalene to have been an enlightened being. Some scholars say that "the seven demons" that Jesus Christ casted out of her refer to an alignment of the seven chakras. She received a healing, and what this means, above all, is a shift in consciousness. A shift in consciousness means leaving behind old patterns and behaviors to emerge as a new being. Her chakras glow because she is light and energy. Her halo, the crown chakra that connects her to LOVE, glows large and bright. Mary Magdalene, by opening herself to Infinite Love, let her energy flow freely and thus became enlightened. She "let it shine", like my friend Pablito would say!

On July 25, I exhibited these Magdalenes for the first time at St. Mark's Church in the Lower East Side. It was a very special occasion for me because I had wanted this from the beginning. And it was a great and unexpected gift when the reverend asked me to place some of the paintings on the altar. The smaller ones went on the altar while the bigger ones, including this one, were on easels in front of a large and rustic cross, almost "at the foot of the Cross" like the biblical Mary Magdalene. When the mass ended and I was getting ready to teach a workshop, a man asked me if I would let him show me "your masterpiece". He said it was one of those pieces that artists paint once in their lifetime. He said it was my Modigliani! Modigliani is one of my favorite artists, so I got curious, Which is it? I thought. Well, he meant this painting, and I could never have expected it. Only time will be able to tell if it is my best piece! But I am glad that this Magdalene spoke to him so deeply. And I am grateful to him for sharing his feelings with me.

Painting Mary Magdalene has taken me to very unexpected places. She has guided me to learn about energy and healing, colors and their healing properties. I think this is a miracle: She is guiding me where I need to go, but where I would never dare go all by myself!

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Roses

Mary Magdalene of the Roses, 40" x 60", Oil on Canvas, 2010. Formerly at Holy Rosary Church (now closed) in East Harlem. Now back in my home.

In 2007, I decided to change my life. I accepted a mural commission that providentially was offered to me when I made this decision, and ever since I have been a full time artist, even if this sometimes means having the greatest faith imaginable that all will be well and that my ability to survive, as well as retain my integrity as an artist, will be long-lasting. One of the reasons I made this decision was that I wanted to paint Magdalenes, and see them within the context of the larger world outside my studio. I wanted one of my Mary Magdalenes to be in a church.

In 2009, I attended a Catholic funeral mass for my friend's mother. I had written a poem for my friend and her mom as a way to express my condolences, and they were going to read it in the mass, so she invited me to attend. I had already spent more than a year visiting churches and spiritual centers "by chance", but I had not even once gone into a Catholic church, the church of my childhood, where my grandmother would take me every Sunday. Just the week before I had had an experience that indicated that I should go to a Catholic church, so receiving the invitation to the funeral mass was, well, opportune. I was there early enough to find a place to seat in the tiny and crowded chapel. The priest said that we should begin by reading the poem. And he did, and he continued with the mass, and continued with the poem as well. In fact, he kept interrupting the mass to read verses, and I wanted to hide under the rug because he kept asking me to come to bring poetry to the Church. Dios mío, that must have been one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, and you can't really lie to a priest during Mass! But how do you say no?! He waited for me at the end of the mass, held my hand, and took me to his office, where he an his friend Judy convinced me to help them out...

The story continues, but the point is that this is how my wish of having a Magdalene in a church came to be. Father Gilbert and I became good friends, and I met all the Puerto Rican ladies who take care of the church. They kind of immediately adopted me. I adopted them too. I began L.I.F.E., Art and Letters, and this Magdalene, the biggest painting I have ever painted.

Because it was always meant to be in a church, this Magdalene holds the customary alabaster jar and has no Vesica Venus... It also brings together all the other elements I strive for: the iconic face; the color red in all its shades; the great bright yellow halo that could be the Sun or the light of the Christ; the flowing folds of the dress like a river of passion that envelops the Magdalene; the dove of the Holy Spirit always near her, Sophia present in her presence; just a little bit of darkness under the dress. And yellow roses. For this one, I wanted yellow roses.

One of Raquel's songs in her CD Las 7 Salves de La Magdalena mentions "Yellow flowers for the Magdalene". I believe in her prophetic vision, and in being a faithful contributor to our mythology in the works, so I wanted to give the Magdalene yellow roses. I went to all the flower shops in my neighborhood and beyond, looking for affordable yellow roses. I could not find any, so I went home empty handed. Soon, however, Judy, the woman I met at Father Gilbert's office the day he kidnapped me, came to visit me with a gift: a big bunch of yellow roses. I had not told her I needed yellow roses! Does this qualify as a miracle?

The roses lasted long enough for me to paint them, actually, longer than any bunch of roses I have ever held in my hands. I had never painted roses, but drawing and painting have one trick that, if you learn it, helps you paint anything: seeing in terms of value and shape. You need to stop looking at a rose as a rose, and just see the lightness and darkness, the shape, the lines that make up the shapes. The roses came out pretty well!

I am very partial to this Magdalene. It might be because it took more than six months to paint it and because I worked and reworked it until it was time to let her go. She is now a bright presence in a very depressed environment. The material poverty of my neighborhood reflects itself faithfully in this church. So my Mary Magdalene is there and I think she is telling all of us to brighten up! Life is beautiful! Roses have thorns, and last such a short time, but would we want to stop loving and enjoying them just because of that?

***

If you would like to commission a Magdalene, Email me!

For reproductions or greeting cards, visit my store!

Song of the Magdalene: Connection to the Black Madonna

Our Lady of Czestokowa, Gouache on paper, 7” x 10”, 2008

My interest in the Black Virgin may have begun at the Porta Coeli Museum in San Germán, my hometown in Puerto Rico, the first time I was able to visit this ancient colonial structure. As a child, I had heard my father tell the story of visiting “the convent,” as it was called when he was a young boy and my grandmother took him and his brothers to hear the Latin mass. By the time I was old enough to be curious, the Convent was closed and I never got a chance to visit it until my thirties, when it had been a museum for several years. Like a book, I always start looking on the left side of a room, and there she was, a magnificent wooden statue of the Black Virgin, dressed in a white gown, holding her beautiful little Man-Child on her lap. I took some photos and then forgot her until some years later, when I discovered her connection to Mary Magdalene.

In Puerto Rico, I have heard people say that the Black Virgin is the syncretism of the Virgin Mary and the African slaves' religion. I believe this syncretism in fact exists, but I was always curious why she was so adored in Europe and where she came from. The Black Madonna does not originate in the Caribbean or America at all, but her early statues and icons were in Europe long before the Old World and the New World found each other. She is so ancient that she might already have been there when Christianity arrived. Some scholars claim that the peoples of Europe merged their own ancient goddess of the earth with the Virgin Mary, and made her into the Black Virgin. It was one of the theories exposed by scholars about the Black Madonna that ultimately attracted me to her. This theory is her connection to Mary Magdalene.

The Black Madonnas of Europe are usually called Our Lady. It is believed that at some point the Magdalene became linked to the Black Maddona by association to the Song of Songs when it says "I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem." Mary Magdalene is associated to the bride in the poem, and Jesus to the bridegroom. Also, the cathedrals dedicated to "Our Lady" were built by the Knights Templar, who were "champions of Mary Magdalene." There is also the link to Sarah the Black saint, believed by some to be the daughter brought by Mary Magdalene from Egypt.

The original icon of Our Lady of Czestochowa particularly attracts me because it might be Byzantine, or at least might have inspired Byzantine art (since Helen is said to have brought it to her son Constantine from Jerusalem) and, most of all, because of its scar. Margaret Starbird makes an interesting association in reference to the icon Our Lady of Czestochowa representing the vanished goddess/Magdalene, "she is not only dark, she is wounded." Even if she is the mother of God, even if she is adored and revered, the scar is the first thing you see when you look at this image.

Just as I try to make my Mary Magdalenes universal, I like the idea of the Black Virgin not being of any particular ethnicity, but a representation of the life-giving power of the Earth itself, the darkness of which light is born, the "Hodegetria", One Who Shows the Way, the Mother who points to her son so that we may, through her guidance, reach the ultimate goal of our human journey. And I also love her because she is dark, wounded, ancient, beautiful and miraculous, and because I am a mother with a once-little, dark, byzantine-eyed child. I too have many scars in my ancient body, which I am also not afraid to show.

***
This Virgin of Czestokowa is available. E-mail Me! or visit my store. Reproductions and greeting cards are also available.

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Leaves

Mary Magdalene of the Leaves, Oil on Canvas, 30” x 40”, 2008

11. I believe mythology is based in truth, but not necessarily historical fact.

12. I believe that mythology is a valid foundation for spirituality.

LESA BELLEVIE

Personal Manifesto

When I first started painting Mary Magdalene of the Leaves, I thought of exploring Margaret Starbird's notion (in her book The Woman with the Alabaster Jar) of Mary Magdalene as "the vine" or secret wife of Jesus Christ. I have never seen a vine, or at least I have never paid attention to a real-life vine, so I looked at some pictures of roots and leaves. In the end, I kept the leaves, that form a halo of nature's gifts around the Magdalene. And I also kept the vine, which is hidden under her dress, that very dark place at the bottom center of the painting, a secret place. In the end, I think the iconographic reference works, even though it is invisible and only you and I know about it.

As I continued to study and assimilate all the different things that are written about Mary Magdalene, I began to move away from traditional iconography and embrace my own mythology, created over time with my dear friend and creative partner Raquel Z. Rivera. It was then that the Magdalene started evolving into Our Lady of Lexington, Patroness of all faithful creative ones who don't believe in anything, but believe in the redeeming quality of the creative act. My own faith has only grown in the process, and now I believe in everything.

Today, as I was visiting the blog The Magdalene Review by Lesa Bellevie, who is also the person behind Magdalene.org, I wanted to sign her Personal Manifesto. I found the two points in the quote above, among many others, that describe what Raquel and I have been striving for. I do not feel the need for the Magdalene to be more than an idea because I believe in the imagination as a creative force. All the stories about the Magdalene enrich my view and my references, and as she continues to grow, she points me to never before explored territories that are both fascinating and informative. I absolutely loved Margaret Starbird's book, it is so rich in information and connections, but I do not need them to be true for me to embrace the Magdalene. She is real because I make her real in my own imagination, and because she represents what I feel a human being has the potential to be: the embodiment of Ataraxia. She attained realization through knowledge, learning, experience and faith.

As a woman, the historical Magdalene believed in herself, and was not afraid of being among men who were often dismissive and aggressive towards her. Like Don Miguel Ruiz says "It's not about you, it's about them"... she let them be and continued to learn from her Rabboni. I think this is one of the best lessons the Magdalene has to offer, not so much in terms of machismo since it's about time we all get over that, but in terms of self-responsibility. In order to grow and evolve, we all need to take responsibility for our own circumstances. If a First Century Jewish woman could do it, then we all can!

I retouched this Magdalene just before her public appearance on September 10, 2010. She is very miraculous! A couple years ago the wind blew her away during a street fair and she came out unscathed! She has also fallen, had a bunch of dust fall all over her, gone up and down the four stories between my home and my studio (several times), and been caressed by my cat Mixta on various occasions. Yet, this is not why I retouched her. I feel I have grown a great deal in my painting technique and in my ability to catch weak spots over the last few years. So I wanted her to look the best she could. She is the Patron Saint of Gardeners, and they will all come after me if I don't make her look like the most beautiful flower in the field!

***

Reproductions and greeting cards are available.

Song of the Magdalene: Surrender (Peace in Your Arms: Infinite Love and Mercy)

Surrender, Oil on Canvas Board, 9” x 12”, 2007

Why does this painting have so many titles...? Well, I had forgotten that I had already given it a title and then decided to make a contest to search for one! I got two great ones. Then I liked them all, because they all tell about the piece, and they all sing to my heart.

Years ago, in the midst of recovery from the stem cell transplant and the subsequent emotional turmoil that this created in my life, I began "receiving" words. The first one was compassion, the next was surrender. Then came imagination and finally, peace. The title contains 3 of these words. The painting contains them all.

When I first started learning about Mary Magdalene, it never occurred to me to relate the words to her. I struggled with the first two words for a long time. It took a long, long time to understand compassion. Surrender is an action rather than an idea, and it is extremely difficult to practice. I never thought of these words in relation to painting, but as I write about this piece, I realize that they were essential to my understanding the Magdalene.

Compassion and mercy are synonyms. In the title, it most obviously refers to Jesus Christ, but we can also see it a little different. I think that Jesus Christ helped Mary Magdalene have compassion for herself. This way he liberated her from "7 demons." By seeing herself in his presence, the presence of Pure Love, she accepted the Atonement that he was there to give her. What else could atonement be but the acceptance of the self as innocent and divine. Our "sins" are washed away by compassion. This is the moment in which Love transforms the Magdalene.

I don't really care whether the Magdalene was Jesus Christ's wife or not. It does not matter to the way I view this scene. Maybe Jesus was a healer that aligned her chakras, or maybe they were tantric lovers, or maybe he really exorcised her, or maybe she really was a prostitute and decided to change her life. These are all things I have come across while studying the Magdalene. But I like to keep it simple: The true instrument by which Mary Magdalene was transformed was Love. Is there any other possible explanation? I think this is the root to all the explanations. Mary Magdalene became one with Jesus Christ by his compassion and her willingness to see herself in the mirror of his Love.

This morning as I was taking a shower, I thought of the colors of this painting and realized something (we all know the best ideas come in the shower...) She is dressed in green just before her change. And green is the opposite color of red. From now on, she will be in red. I confess that I was thinking about green as the color of fertility as well as the color of hope. But I also know I chose this green because it was the only bright earth color that matched the color harmony in the painting. And that's the true reason why her dress is green!

Mary Magdalene surrendered to Love. She had compassion for herself and learned that her soul is pure. Christianity stands upon her vision of the Resurrection, a vision that cannot exist without imagination. She now dwells in the arms of peace, and guides all of us who ask her towards Infinite Love.

***

If you are interested in this painting, a reproduction, or a greeting card, email me at tanyaetorres@yahoo.com or visit my store!

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene in the Garden

Mary Magdalene in the Garden, Oil on Canvas Board, 7” x 9”, 2005

This is the third Mary Magdalene I painted in 2005. She is in peaceful meditation, surrounded by light and nature. She is in a garden that has both live and dead plants. The green leaves contrast the reds of the dress, sky and flowers. The dove sits on a branch, watching over her.

I have been asked several times why I use the color red for my Magdalenes. In traditional iconography, the Magdalene's color is red, just like the Virgin Mary's is blue. It is interesting to note that early on the Virgin Mary wore red as well because it was the color worn by influential Jewish women, but an edict was issued by the Catholic Church that red was the color of a prostitute and that the Virgin Mary was to wear blue (read here to read more about this). Since a Pope declared Mary Magdalene to be the same person as the sinner in the Bible, her customary color became red.

My Magdalene is definitely not a prostitute, but an influential Jewish woman. Of course, when I painted this, I was only referring to traditional iconography, because I didn't know any better! Since then, I have learned that red is the color of passion, power and action. I think these are qualities of the traditional Magdalene. She had passion to follow Jesus Christ and become a disciple in search for knowledge, she had power over herself to make her own choices, and she took action by staying at the foot of the cross while the other apostles hid, and by being the first witness to the Resurrection, Apostle to the Apostles.

I also did not know at the time that Mary Magdalene is considered the patron saint of perfumers and gardeners. The flowers that appear in the painting are my made up flowers. One day, when I still had Mixta Gallery, I made a large mural drawing on the wall and drew some of these flowers. A friend, who is also a reverend and studies religion, told me that I drew the Vesica Venus. Later, he sent me some information, correcting himself and saying that he had meant Vesica Piscis. This is a symbol of great mysticism, that I had never studied, but that we all have seen in art and mathematics. Learning this was very important for me, because it made me aware of being in touch with knowledge I did not consciously have. But being poets, of course, my friends and I loved the first name, and it stuck. So I call these flowers Vesicas de Venus, and you will see them in several other paintings and drawings.

Finally, death. My experience with cancer taught me that death is always present. My paintings celebrate life, but they also contain, as I contain, the knowledge of death. For me, death means that we only have access to our bodies for a finite amount of time, and that we must use then as best as we can to learn and experience the joys of our own creation. And we do this by using our gifts and sharing them. So death is a contrast, like the branches contrast with the bright halo of the Magdalene, a light we all contain within ourselves, the light of Infinite Love. And Love is the other name of God.

The little dove is the Holy Spirit. She is watching over the Magdalene, really, they are one. Holy Spirit is Sophia is Wisdom. And Wisdom, or knowledge of ourselves, is the goal we all have for this life.

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I want to share with you that Mary Magdalene and Sarah is sold to a wonderful woman and her daughter, and is going to Ecuador for the New Year! It fills me with joy that my painting will be with people I feel close to in my heart and spirit. Thank you!

If you would like a reproduction or greeting card, visit my store!

Song of the Magdalene: María Magdalena

Oil on Canvas Board, 7” x 9”, 2005

My friend Migdalia made a comment yesterday that anticipated what I wanted to say about this painting. She said that the Magdalene looked Hispanic. She saw her like her own self. And this is what I intend for all of the Magdalenes: to make them look universal. I think that, if you look at this Magdalene, she could be from America, or Africa or the Middle East, or even Europe. She is you and she is me, the sacred feminine in all of us.

I painted Mary Magdalene in prayer because it is a universal praying gesture human beings use to connect with themselves and with the divine. Her eyes are closed from distractions, she is looking within in order to really see. This way, her light becomes bright yellow because her whole being is responding to this timeless moment.

When I paint her, I think of the Magdalene more as an idea than as an actual person who lived years ago. As a child, I heard somewhere, somehow, that we human beings are all part of a whole. I used to imagine myself as a dot of light going towards a great big Sun. I guess I was meditating without knowing it. Many people also believe in spirits, angels, and saints, and that these energies are all around us. I didn't think much of these things as I was painting this Magdalene, but later on, I realized that ideas become a reality when I am painting. I feel connected to the Magdalene in both of those ways: as part of a whole, and as a presence that guides me. By paying attention to what happens when I paint (or stop painting,) I have come to feel guided and nourished by the presence I identify as the Magdalene.

Last month I decided to write all these experiences, but they came out as a really long essay that I can't really share here. My conclusion, however, is that I have been discovering what it means to be "fully human", two words that struck me when I read the Gospel of Mary. In many ways, she has become my muse and my guide into the world of the imagination, a very human quality that is part of our "fullness."

This is the second Magdalene I painted in 2005. I always start with a drawing, and what I look for is a sort of iconic image, lines that will help define the character of the painting. I always try to remember to keep these drawings for another project that I am working on, a coloring book, so here it is. It is a little gift for you to express my gratitude for your visit to this blog. Download it and color it, make it your own and remember the bliss of creation!
https://files.me.com/tanyaetorres/zej2h2 (available for the next 5 days)

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This original is already sold, but it you would like to order a greeting card or reproduction, click here: http://web.mac.com/tanyaetorres/iWeb/Site/Shop_Paintings.html

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene and Sarah

Mary Magdalene and Sarah

11” x 14”, Oil on canvas board, 2005

Mary Magdalene and Sarah is the first painting in the series Song of the Magdalene. It comes out of reading the book The Woman With the Alabaster Jar. Author Margaret Starbird explores different theories about the biblical Mary Magdalene, among them that Mary Magdalene could have had a daughter by Jesus Christ called Sarah, whom gypsies today adore each year as Saint Sarah the Egyptian in the french town of Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer.

Since my previous paintings were about mothers and babies, this Mary Magdalene is a sort of transition into the newer series of Mary Magdalenes. It also helped me establish the color palette that would evolve into the more intense reds and yellows of the paintings that were to follow.

In this painting I seek to portray the sacredness of a moment shared by a mother and her baby, a moment which enlightens them both and lets their souls continue to be one in timeless eternity.

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To buy this painting, a greeting card with this image or a reproduction, visit my shop!

Praising Life

Yesterday, for my friend Luis Rodriguez, whose poem "Praise" inspired this image.

Bathroom Murals: My Poetry Murals at P.S. 57, NYC

Drawings

Not too long ago, I felt like I was not having any fun being an artist. So I decided to play with ink.

Mosaics at East Harlem Bilingual Head Start

*The darker parts on the grout mean that it was still drying when I took the photos!