Cacibayagua

Cacibayagua por Tanya Torres

Cacibayagua por Tanya Torres, oil on canvas, 20" x 16", 2012.

"From Cacibayagua came the majority of the people who settled the island." Fray Ramón Pané 

The very first poem of Marianela's book Diosas de la Yuca, contains this quote. 

I thought the cave Cacibayagua, from which the original taínos of La Española, sister island of Puerto Rico, are said to have come, might be a place of earth and river water from whose veins flows life.

I was sitting in a church, listening to a group of monks sing. A group of nuns were sitting next to me praying and adoring the Eucharist. While meditating, I saw in my mind some paintings like this one, but much bigger, and depicting the whole body full of flowers and creatures and plant life. Although they look nothing like the Virgin Mary, I know she is present in them.

Don't most of the miraculous images of the Virgin Mary appear by water? Isn't she the Star of the Sea, Stella Maris? Don't people go to her shrine in Lourdes to bathe in the blessed water of her grotto and heal? Water, cave, virgin goddess, like the ancient Goddess.

As writer Marion Zimmer Bradley would have said, "all goddesses and all gods are as one." The Taíno had their own. My european ancestors had theirs. I honor them all.

***

I hope the images of Heaven and Earth will help bring more peace, love and joy into our world through a different viison of the old ideas that grow out of the human heart, and are ever present in our perception of the world as human beings.

Reproductions available in my Etsy Shop

Atabey Gives Birth to the Coquí

Atabey da a luz al Coquí por Tanya Torres

Atabey Gives Birth to the Coquí by Tanya Torres, Oil on Canvas, 20" x 16", 2012. 

I wanted to paint Atabey, Taíno mother of all creatures, earth goddess, mother of the god, giving birth to the coquí, the most representative creature of the island of Puerto Rico.

But she began looking like the Ánima Sola or Lonely Soul, a Catholic image brought from Europe that has evolved in America to become syncretized with some of the native and African religions. She has become a sort of goddess of love spells.

My Atabey passionately loves the earth, life, birth. In Taíno mythology, she gave birth to the "main god" Yukiyú or Yucahu. And so, she is the Mother of God, and the mother of all creatures. How might a goddess give birth? A fire that does not burn, a light that does not blind, but imparts life.

Her little child still sings for us every evening, reminding us of who lives within our own heart.

Common Coquí © Public Domain

Reproductions and Greeting Cards available in my Etsy Shops: http://www.etsy.com/shop/tanyaetorres http://www.etsy.com/shop/YellowButterflyShop

Inriri

Inriri por Tanya Torres

Inriri by Tanya Torres, Oil on canvas, 20" x 16", 2012.
 

"They searched for a bird called inriri (woodpecker), and before was called  inriri cahuvayal, which lives in the trees, in our language it is called pico. Those persons without male or female sex were taken, their feet and hands tied, and the mentioned bird was tied to their body; the pico, believing that the people were tree trunks, began its accustomed work, pecking and making a hole where you can ordinarily find the nature of women."  Fray Ramón Pané

And so I found that the Taínos, the original inhabitants of the island of Puerto Rico, had spoken to tell me how the nature of women was created.

Yulian, Guardian Angel

Yulian, Ángel de la Guarda por Tanya Torres

Yulian, Guardian Angel by Tanya Torres, Oil on canvas, 20" x 16", 2012.

Some of my friends already know that back in November, I began writing for About.com, a company of The New York Times, for their new site in Spanish. I am always writing, so I decided to write more formally, but the only topic that interested me was Ángeles y milagros, angels and miracles. I don't have any formal education in these themes, but I had studied so much while painting Mary Magdalene, that I decided to try and apply. The angels liked me, which means I am now a guide and write at 2 a.m. about inspiring topics that I hope will bring smiles, hope and knowledge to whoever reads my articles. So far so good. It is inspiring and it informs my art. Especially when I practice what I preach...
I was writing about "El Ángel de la Guarda" or Guardian Angel when

Whispers of Heaven

Susurros del Cielo por Tanya Torres

Whispers of Heaven by Tanya Torres, Oil on canvas, 20" x 16", 2012.

"Love surrounds us, holds us, makes us free to love and be loved..." 

Fr. Frank Sabatté's words seemed to define my view of God, and inspired the drawing for this painting. I was creating Life, Art and Letters at the time, with the poems and other writing I found in my friends' websites (with their written permission, of course!) Father Frank is an artist and Catholic priest I met a couple years ago whose view on spiritual matters was surprisingly similar, if not identical, to what Raquel and I were formulating with our Mary Magdalene works.

How does Love look? The words "Love surrounds us, holds us, makes us free to love and be loved..." made me think of doves whispering truths, or kissing one's hair and face as a blessing. This is the kind of love that unites all creatures, all creation.

The birds are freedom, the face is the human being, the colors are the light and warmth of Heaven. It is the right of every human being to be free, but for most of us, a terribly difficult task. Part of the quest is to listen to the messages of the Spirit, and accept the guidance of Love above all matters.

Reproductions and Greeting Cards available in my Etsy Shops: 
http://www.etsy.com/shop/tanyaetorres
http://www.etsy.com/shop/YellowButterflyShop

Mother and Child

Madre e hijo por Tanya Torres

Mother and Child by Tanya Torres, oil on canvas, 12" x 9", 2012.

I had previously posted this painting, but part of the purpose of publishing them here is to organize my thoughts about them in order to be able to talk about each. I simply think much more efficiently when I write!

This was actually the second painting I finished, and which I did before the Tree and the Heart. The story of this painting is that, as I was watching a video of a bunch of priests fighting with brooms in Jerusalem, an image of the Virgin Mary with the Holy Child caught my eye. I looked it up and remained with the impression until I was able to begin drawing it. Here is the original drawing:

Powerful Hand of the Tree of Life

Mano Poderosa del Árbol de la Vida por Tanya Torres

Powerful Hand of the Tree of Life by Tanya Torres, Oil on canvas, 20" x 16", 2012.

I don't think I ever noticed a Mano Poderosa icon before visiting El Museo del Barrio some time after arriving in New york City in 1985. Like many other religious images, it seems for be popular depending on the region and the tendencies of the people who live there. It is in fact the type of Cristian icon that has become syncretized with the African and Indigenous religions of America. That is probably why I never saw it before.

Sacred Heart of the Earth

Sagrado Corazón de la Tierra por Tanya Torres

Sacred Heart of the Earth, 20" x 16", oil on canvas, 2012.

Religious symbols offer a sort of anchor for prayer, meditation and thought, but once you have left them behind, their meaning tends to evolve beyond recognition. New ideas take their place of holiness. New visions emerge from the depths of your soul. Only the truth that has always been remains and reemerges into a different, or not so different, vision.

Ofrenda del Corazón

Ofrenda de luz y hojas nuevas (2011) by Tanya Torres

A few weeks ago, I received an email from Minette Duenas, a teacher in South Texas, asking me if I would be able to contribute to her project by painting a wooden heart for the Ofrendas del Corazon Heart Art Silent Auction. The money is raised in the name of Michael Rutledge, a young man who was Minette's student and in his second year of High School at the time of his death. Michael's parents donated his organs, which in turn saved four people's lives. 100% of the money raised goes into scholarships for bilingual students at Michael's school.

To learn more see @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exOz35lRS6A
and their facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ofrendas-del-Coraz%C3%B3n/235917659765475

I loved so much painting this heart. I hope it helps!

Motherhood Artwork by Tanya Torres

Even before I was a mother, I was inspired by motherhood. This is one of my first prints (a linocut with chinne colé) inspired by this theme. I created Motherhood in 1992, when I was still an undergraduate student at CCNY.

Later on, after I had my child, I painted this image of a mother nursing her baby in a rocking chair. I spent so many long hours doing this... Julian liked to nurse every hour... Toughest job I ever had! But it created a beautiful bond between my son and I, and he grew healthy and allergy free. I thought it was worth immortalizing the moment in a painting titled El Sillón!

This one is titled Madre Patria and the original is a watercolor. I created it for a young woman, Yomara, who wanted to give a "Puerto Rican" gift to her mother, but her mom hated everything Puerto Rican. I told her, don't worry, she will love your Puerto Rican gift! I had her pose with her young son Keanu, and created this image of tenderness to depict not only them, but a patriotic idea for all Puerto Ricans, even those who feel a little let down by the land where they were born. This is my best-selling print of all time!

Another "post-partum" painting, three years after, when my son was already weaned. Cesarea at Dawn was inspired by a poem by Tita Dalia that mentioned her c-section scar. I was making her book at the time and created a drawing as an illustration. Then one day, when I was given really bad news about my health, I spontaneously started painting this piece. When I think of why it was this image in particular that I decided to paint, I feel that it was because in my mind I made a connection between my own scars, the toll that breastfeeding had taken on my body and the life-giving ability of nature. I painted a healing image that helped me move from frustration and sadness into light and a new beginning.

Placenta is the "companion" to Cesarea. I painted them one after the other, and have always kept them together. When I was younger, I read a book that detailed the efforts of doctors to make money off women at different stages in their lives. It explained how sometimes doctors tell women that a c-section is necessary while in truth, it is just a way to charge more and make their own time more manageable. It happened to many of my friends so, long before I got pregnant, I decided to go with a midwife when the time came. I would have loved to have a completely natural birth, away from the hospital, but in the end, I decided to be practical. It was a good decision, since there were a few complications during the birth. But having the midwife was extremely wise, since she allowed me extra time before deciding to intervene, and it was during that last half hour I was given that Julian was born! This painting is my way to recreate that ideal birth, even if it didn't happen in reality, it is always possible in my imagination. While reading about breast-feeding, I learned how moms feed twins. I thought it would be very challenging to have to nurse two babies like Julian, who at first refused to nurse, and then would not leave me alone for two minutes! The mom and twins surrounded by flowers and nature and nourished by love. It is titled Twins, of course!

I began The Four Daughters of Eve before going in the hospital for three weeks for a stem-cell transplant. I left it unfinished, hoping I would be able to come back to it. I did, I took a long, long time because I was so tired and could only paint a little at a time. I wanted to paint the origins of humanity and the union between all human beings. She is now in my studio, reminding me of our immense power of survival and regeneration.

When I first discovered Mary Magdalene, I met her as the Mother. This idea connected with my previous work and this was my first painting of her. Mary Magdalene and Sarah is one of my favorite paintings because I like the peace of the moment and the little hands and feet of baby Sarah, as well as the palette. This Mary Magadalene is now in Ecuador with my friend Clemencia Cruel and her daughter Rommy, who have placed the painting in their altar. I can't imagine a better place for it!

I first learned of the Virgin of Czestochowa through my friend Raquel and fell in love with the image because I "like the idea of the Black Virgin not being of any particular ethnicity, but a representation of the life-giving power of the Earth itself, the darkness of which light is born, the "Hodegetria", One Who Shows the Way, the Mother who points to her son so that we may through her guidance reach the ultimate goal of our human journey. And I also love her because she is dark, wounded, ancient, beautiful and miraculous, and because I am also a mother with a once little, dark, byzantine eyed child. I too have many scars in my ancient body, which I am not afraid to show." I'm quoting myself, of course! and would like to add that one day I bought a little prayer card of this image for Raquel, and guess what? At the same time, that same day, in Montreal, Canada, Raquel was buying the same card (in French!) for me. One of the little Magdalene miracles that tell me life is magical and good...

Finally, and probably not the last, and this is one of my favorite themes to work, a drawing. I have been drawing a series titles "Sacred Garden" and this is one of the drawings, which I published to welcome the New Year with a little poem. Mom and baby are surrounded by leaves that cradle them both and hold them in the sacred embrace of the Universe and Mother Nature.

An early and heartfelt wish of happiness and health for all mothers, whether spiritual or physical, female or male, past and present.

With all my love,

Tanya

En espanol: Las mamás en mi arte

My Guadalupe

"I don't believe in anything, but I believe in the Guadalupe..."

A phrase for thought by a writer and friend.

A writer said this to me, but I'm tempted to say that I have heard this same phrase from at least two other people this year. It is a phrase with which I fully identify, and a guiding principle in painting this Virgin of Guadalupe for Reverend Winnie and St. Mark's in the Bowery in gratitude for her support of Song of the Magdalene. And in gratitude to Guadalupe Tonantzin. It was at St. Marks where a few years ago I attended a dedication of an Aztec dance group to the Virgin of Guadalupe. I had never paid much attention to her, but that day she was there as the invocation for the Elements began and continued with the ancestral dancing that the group would perform in her honor. That night I brought her flowers.

I think we are all willing to bring her flowers because we can also call her Tonantzin, which in Aztec mythology and among present day Nahuas,means 'Our Revered Mother'. The faith and reverence so many people place on her is transmitted even to those of us who have a hard time believing in anything concrete.

And even when we don't believe in anything (or when we believe in everything, which is more or less the same thing...) mythologies and the truths they contain, whether they come in the context of organized religion or of personal realization, are as valid as any other belief system when they provide hope and comfort, sight and wisdom. Tonantzin is revered for her wisdom in knowing the hearts of her children.

I painted her with the colors I associate with wisdom and with the Earth: yellow, brown, terracotta, and gold, and a bluish green for hope. She is the Mother (Earth), and she is meeting the Father (Sky, White Light) without taking her gaze away from those who look up to her. Whether we dance or paint, play music or write, whether we believe or don't believe, we know that with her loving smile she will accept our gifts of joy.

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Tears

Mary Magdalene of the Tears, Oil on canvas board, 7" x 9", 2010

Beloved disciple,

your tears arrived,

when you embraced,

your vision,

weaving the warp and weft,

where we now rest,

in the perpetual lace

of Resurrection.

(Verses from the poem Tears of Freedom)

In Spanish, there is a very popular expression: "Crying like a Magdalene." I don't know if the same is true for other languages and cultures, but for Puerto Ricans, the Magdalene is always the image of crying in desperation. This Magdalene, the last one I completed (for now!), is the only one I painted with tears as an iconographical reference. But once again, I am substituting the traditional meaning and offering a new interpretation. In this painting the tears are not a reference to pain, but to freedom.

Mary Magdalene must have experienced an immense amount of pain. She chose to face it. She stayed by the Cross as her Beloved died a terrible death. She did not run away before or after, but lived through it. Those of us who know pain of any kind, physical or emotional, know that once we live through it, something happens. Nothing is the same as it was before, there is a calm, a silence of a meditative and clear nature. A silence that lets us hear its lesson.

Pain is a great teacher. Once we meet pain, we will forever be aware of the suffering of others. What we could not imagine possible in terms of suffering, we realize as true after knowing pain. Empathy and compassion can blossom out of this experience, and a new kind of strength as well. It is as if pain can have the power weaken our bodies, while also containing the possibility of adding muscle to our souls.

I, like many people, have experienced both physical and emotional pain. The physical pain of cancer is excruciating. It creates an impenetrable layer of fear that can soon make you wish death. It is clear and loud, like a bomb. Emotional pain can be the opposite. It is so quiet and ineffable that we can't notice it as it takes over our life and then crawls all over us like a slimy snail. Both can take us into the most immense loneliness, and both can kill us, or liberate us.

Why can pain liberate us? Because when we face it, we make the decision to be free. Even if we cannot get rid of the pain, we can be free to start finding a new way to live, a new way to see. There are terrible things in the world, and I cannot console or offer any words of comfort to the victims of all the terrible errors of humanity, or to the victims of illness or even of pure chance. All I can say, from my very limited perspective, is that when people embrace their experience of pain, they make a difference in the lives of those who are just beginning to live it, and as a result, their own lives acquire purpose. Of all the things I read about cancer during the moments when I first had to face it, only the stories of survivors stayed with me. That was all I had, and that was all I held on to. The Magdalene had more than I did at the time. She had her faith in the Resurrection.

Whether we understand the Resurrection as a literal or interpretative event, faith remains the base of its redeeming power. Faith is the notion that we can be reborn out of a life-changing experience. Mary Magdalene was reborn through her tears of pain, the same tears that brought her liberation from being a woman to being a human being in its full expression. Her tears formed the veil she penetrated in order to see the true nature of her teacher, and in order to see her own true nature. It was through her faith in her vision of the Resurrection that she brought the news to the world that we were more than just our flesh, that we were beyond sin. If we accepted the redeeming nature of death and rebirth, we would be born into a new being free from the archaic notion of sin, free from judgement, free from the restraints we had invented in response to fear. She brought faith in answer to fear, rebirth in answer to death.

So from now on, when we go to a museum or a church and see a crying Magdalene, we can choose to remember that the purpose of the Crucifixion was the Resurrection, and that the tears we see washed her eyes of the illusion of death in order to see life. Her vision, of life reborn, of life never dead, can be the warp and weft on which we can place our faith to believe that out of our pain, a new life can be born.

***

Tanya

Prayerfully painting for more love, for more peace, for more faith, for our world to be reborn.

http://www.tanyatorres.com

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Hibiscus

Mary Magdalene of the Hibiscus, Oil on panel, 9" x 12", 2010. $350

A couple of years ago, I received a hibiscus plant from my husband. The flowers are particularly beautiful and "magdalenic." The colors are those I use to paint Magdalenes: yellow, fuschia, red and the mix of all these, bright orange. The plant would bloom every day with a new hibiscus or two. And I enjoyed each of them, looked forward to them, photographed them, told people about them. They were such a gift! A gift I needed to pass on.

I once read a book titled The Gift. It is an investigation on the nature of the gift. When we think of a gift, we think of something we might give or get, but what this book explained is that a gift is something that is meant to be passed on. Well, pass on, but not as in "regifting"! When we pass on a gift, we honor the gift we really like!

When we are given a gift, we are supposed to also give a gift. We do not have to give it to the same person who originally gave us the gift, but we can pass it on to someone else. The book told about a tribe where a gift would be passed around the different members of the community, with its pertinent gratitude ceremonies, until it reached full circle. The gift was a precious object, but what made it really meaningful was the action of giving it, of passing it on to someone else.

This book was assigned in one of my art classes. Although back then I didn't understand why, now I think it is important for artists, as well as people in all professions, to consider the nature of their gift. We come into the world with certain talents or inclinations. If we are lucky and obstinate, we develop them. But what good are they if they just stay hidden from the world. These talents, aptitudes, gifts we bring, are meant to be shared. This is the way we can help bring peace and harmony into the world. Have you ever given someone a very special gift? Have you made a gift with your own hands or worked hard to get enough money with the intention of buying a gift? Or even just looked up a thousand websites in search of something very, very special for someone you love? At that moment, when we search, make, work for the gift and at the time we give the gift, it is as if a light glows really bright. It creates a connection with the other person that shows the love that the gift brings. And our souls, in that connection, feel fulfilled and in love. We can think of everything we do as a gift. When we spend time with someone, we give them a gift. When we write a letter, or a blog!, we give a gift. When we work, we offer our knowledge and aptitude as a gift to those who receive the product of our work. Doesn't this make work sound a lot better?!

This is why I painted the flowers around Mary Magdalene, offering her a gift in gratitude for her many gifts, passing on a gift made with love. Mary Magdalene has been an immense gift for me. I paint her in the hope that I can offer that gift back to the world so that it will not remain stagnant inside of me. I hope that I can give you the bright colors of love that the Magdalene gives me, so that you can transform them in your own heart, and in the fire of your own passion, and share them with the world... until it comes full circle and we all get to share in the great gift of life.

***

 If you would like greeting cards or a print, I invite you to visit my store!

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Heart

Mary Magdalene of the Heart, Oil on canvas, 16" x 20", 2010

An ancient Egyptian quote reads: "The Heart is the source of all knowledge." In my paintings, this is the meaning of the heart. Mary Magdalene meditates with her heart, made visible here. We process information with our mind, but we really get to learn it when we distill it in our heart. What good are numbers or facts or theories if we cannot use them for a noble purpose?

Mary Magdalene learned about love, and this knowledge transformed her by letting her shed her old self to become what we call a saint, or an enlightened being through whom love flows directly from the Source. In order for this to happen, her entire being must have had become connected to her heart. The teachings she received were transformed into knowledge at the center of her being, where her purity and innocence remained intact behind all the layers of life she must have carried as a human being, just like each of us.

In the chakra system, the heart chakra is at the center of the chest. It stands for love, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, renewal, harmony, growth and peace. Mary Magdalene's heart is filled with all of these, and with fire. In the passionate fire of the heart, we patiently simmer all that is good until we create the healthy concoction that sustains us and gives us a clear perception of all that surrounds us. It is the antidote to fear and the elixir of a purposeful life.

Is there any other purpose to life than love? When we light it with the fire of passion, it melts the ice that fear tries hard to keep unthawed.

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Light

Mary Magdalene of the Light, Oil on Canvas Board, 16" x 20", 2010

I do not claim to know about everything I paint. In fact, it is through painting that I find clues as to what I should be learning. Painting the Magdalene has guided me in discovering the larger dimensions of our world.

I often get the urge to draw a canvas when it is impossible to begin painting, such as the last few minutes in my studio before leaving for the night. I remember I drew this Magdalene at one such moment, and then, months later, began painting. Since this is a very symmetrical image, I knew I must work in ways that complement its symmetry, but also help the eye move around the painting and provide variety. I found myself lightening more and more certain areas of her face, and semi realizing that I was painting the chakras.

I knew extremely little about the chakras. I knew there were chakras, and that's pretty much it. I must have seen pictures, no doubt, but it still surprised me to be painting the Magdalaene with chakras. The painting stayed unfinished in my living room for probably more than one year, or even two. I was not sure how to finish it, or why I had painted it. I really didn't feel qualified to paint things with chakras, but in the meantime, I began learning about color, energy and healing. Although there is still much to learn, I believe I finally understand why I painted the Magdalene this way.

I believe the human Magdalene to have been an enlightened being. Some scholars say that "the seven demons" that Jesus Christ casted out of her refer to an alignment of the seven chakras. She received a healing, and what this means, above all, is a shift in consciousness. A shift in consciousness means leaving behind old patterns and behaviors to emerge as a new being. Her chakras glow because she is light and energy. Her halo, the crown chakra that connects her to LOVE, glows large and bright. Mary Magdalene, by opening herself to Infinite Love, let her energy flow freely and thus became enlightened. She "let it shine", like my friend Pablito would say!

On July 25, I exhibited these Magdalenes for the first time at St. Mark's Church in the Lower East Side. It was a very special occasion for me because I had wanted this from the beginning. And it was a great and unexpected gift when the reverend asked me to place some of the paintings on the altar. The smaller ones went on the altar while the bigger ones, including this one, were on easels in front of a large and rustic cross, almost "at the foot of the Cross" like the biblical Mary Magdalene. When the mass ended and I was getting ready to teach a workshop, a man asked me if I would let him show me "your masterpiece". He said it was one of those pieces that artists paint once in their lifetime. He said it was my Modigliani! Modigliani is one of my favorite artists, so I got curious, Which is it? I thought. Well, he meant this painting, and I could never have expected it. Only time will be able to tell if it is my best piece! But I am glad that this Magdalene spoke to him so deeply. And I am grateful to him for sharing his feelings with me.

Painting Mary Magdalene has taken me to very unexpected places. She has guided me to learn about energy and healing, colors and their healing properties. I think this is a miracle: She is guiding me where I need to go, but where I would never dare go all by myself!

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Roses

Mary Magdalene of the Roses, 40" x 60", Oil on Canvas, 2010. Formerly at Holy Rosary Church (now closed) in East Harlem. Now back in my home.

In 2007, I decided to change my life. I accepted a mural commission that providentially was offered to me when I made this decision, and ever since I have been a full time artist, even if this sometimes means having the greatest faith imaginable that all will be well and that my ability to survive, as well as retain my integrity as an artist, will be long-lasting. One of the reasons I made this decision was that I wanted to paint Magdalenes, and see them within the context of the larger world outside my studio. I wanted one of my Mary Magdalenes to be in a church.

In 2009, I attended a Catholic funeral mass for my friend's mother. I had written a poem for my friend and her mom as a way to express my condolences, and they were going to read it in the mass, so she invited me to attend. I had already spent more than a year visiting churches and spiritual centers "by chance", but I had not even once gone into a Catholic church, the church of my childhood, where my grandmother would take me every Sunday. Just the week before I had had an experience that indicated that I should go to a Catholic church, so receiving the invitation to the funeral mass was, well, opportune. I was there early enough to find a place to seat in the tiny and crowded chapel. The priest said that we should begin by reading the poem. And he did, and he continued with the mass, and continued with the poem as well. In fact, he kept interrupting the mass to read verses, and I wanted to hide under the rug because he kept asking me to come to bring poetry to the Church. Dios mío, that must have been one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, and you can't really lie to a priest during Mass! But how do you say no?! He waited for me at the end of the mass, held my hand, and took me to his office, where he an his friend Judy convinced me to help them out...

The story continues, but the point is that this is how my wish of having a Magdalene in a church came to be. Father Gilbert and I became good friends, and I met all the Puerto Rican ladies who take care of the church. They kind of immediately adopted me. I adopted them too. I began L.I.F.E., Art and Letters, and this Magdalene, the biggest painting I have ever painted.

Because it was always meant to be in a church, this Magdalene holds the customary alabaster jar and has no Vesica Venus... It also brings together all the other elements I strive for: the iconic face; the color red in all its shades; the great bright yellow halo that could be the Sun or the light of the Christ; the flowing folds of the dress like a river of passion that envelops the Magdalene; the dove of the Holy Spirit always near her, Sophia present in her presence; just a little bit of darkness under the dress. And yellow roses. For this one, I wanted yellow roses.

One of Raquel's songs in her CD Las 7 Salves de La Magdalena mentions "Yellow flowers for the Magdalene". I believe in her prophetic vision, and in being a faithful contributor to our mythology in the works, so I wanted to give the Magdalene yellow roses. I went to all the flower shops in my neighborhood and beyond, looking for affordable yellow roses. I could not find any, so I went home empty handed. Soon, however, Judy, the woman I met at Father Gilbert's office the day he kidnapped me, came to visit me with a gift: a big bunch of yellow roses. I had not told her I needed yellow roses! Does this qualify as a miracle?

The roses lasted long enough for me to paint them, actually, longer than any bunch of roses I have ever held in my hands. I had never painted roses, but drawing and painting have one trick that, if you learn it, helps you paint anything: seeing in terms of value and shape. You need to stop looking at a rose as a rose, and just see the lightness and darkness, the shape, the lines that make up the shapes. The roses came out pretty well!

I am very partial to this Magdalene. It might be because it took more than six months to paint it and because I worked and reworked it until it was time to let her go. She is now a bright presence in a very depressed environment. The material poverty of my neighborhood reflects itself faithfully in this church. So my Mary Magdalene is there and I think she is telling all of us to brighten up! Life is beautiful! Roses have thorns, and last such a short time, but would we want to stop loving and enjoying them just because of that?

***

If you would like to commission a Magdalene, Email me!

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Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene of the Leaves

Mary Magdalene of the Leaves, Oil on Canvas, 30” x 40”, 2008

11. I believe mythology is based in truth, but not necessarily historical fact.

12. I believe that mythology is a valid foundation for spirituality.

LESA BELLEVIE

Personal Manifesto

When I first started painting Mary Magdalene of the Leaves, I thought of exploring Margaret Starbird's notion (in her book The Woman with the Alabaster Jar) of Mary Magdalene as "the vine" or secret wife of Jesus Christ. I have never seen a vine, or at least I have never paid attention to a real-life vine, so I looked at some pictures of roots and leaves. In the end, I kept the leaves, that form a halo of nature's gifts around the Magdalene. And I also kept the vine, which is hidden under her dress, that very dark place at the bottom center of the painting, a secret place. In the end, I think the iconographic reference works, even though it is invisible and only you and I know about it.

As I continued to study and assimilate all the different things that are written about Mary Magdalene, I began to move away from traditional iconography and embrace my own mythology, created over time with my dear friend and creative partner Raquel Z. Rivera. It was then that the Magdalene started evolving into Our Lady of Lexington, Patroness of all faithful creative ones who don't believe in anything, but believe in the redeeming quality of the creative act. My own faith has only grown in the process, and now I believe in everything.

Today, as I was visiting the blog The Magdalene Review by Lesa Bellevie, who is also the person behind Magdalene.org, I wanted to sign her Personal Manifesto. I found the two points in the quote above, among many others, that describe what Raquel and I have been striving for. I do not feel the need for the Magdalene to be more than an idea because I believe in the imagination as a creative force. All the stories about the Magdalene enrich my view and my references, and as she continues to grow, she points me to never before explored territories that are both fascinating and informative. I absolutely loved Margaret Starbird's book, it is so rich in information and connections, but I do not need them to be true for me to embrace the Magdalene. She is real because I make her real in my own imagination, and because she represents what I feel a human being has the potential to be: the embodiment of Ataraxia. She attained realization through knowledge, learning, experience and faith.

As a woman, the historical Magdalene believed in herself, and was not afraid of being among men who were often dismissive and aggressive towards her. Like Don Miguel Ruiz says "It's not about you, it's about them"... she let them be and continued to learn from her Rabboni. I think this is one of the best lessons the Magdalene has to offer, not so much in terms of machismo since it's about time we all get over that, but in terms of self-responsibility. In order to grow and evolve, we all need to take responsibility for our own circumstances. If a First Century Jewish woman could do it, then we all can!

I retouched this Magdalene just before her public appearance on September 10, 2010. She is very miraculous! A couple years ago the wind blew her away during a street fair and she came out unscathed! She has also fallen, had a bunch of dust fall all over her, gone up and down the four stories between my home and my studio (several times), and been caressed by my cat Mixta on various occasions. Yet, this is not why I retouched her. I feel I have grown a great deal in my painting technique and in my ability to catch weak spots over the last few years. So I wanted her to look the best she could. She is the Patron Saint of Gardeners, and they will all come after me if I don't make her look like the most beautiful flower in the field!

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Song of the Magdalene: Surrender (Peace in Your Arms: Infinite Love and Mercy)

Surrender, Oil on Canvas Board, 9” x 12”, 2007

Why does this painting have so many titles...? Well, I had forgotten that I had already given it a title and then decided to make a contest to search for one! I got two great ones. Then I liked them all, because they all tell about the piece, and they all sing to my heart.

Years ago, in the midst of recovery from the stem cell transplant and the subsequent emotional turmoil that this created in my life, I began "receiving" words. The first one was compassion, the next was surrender. Then came imagination and finally, peace. The title contains 3 of these words. The painting contains them all.

When I first started learning about Mary Magdalene, it never occurred to me to relate the words to her. I struggled with the first two words for a long time. It took a long, long time to understand compassion. Surrender is an action rather than an idea, and it is extremely difficult to practice. I never thought of these words in relation to painting, but as I write about this piece, I realize that they were essential to my understanding the Magdalene.

Compassion and mercy are synonyms. In the title, it most obviously refers to Jesus Christ, but we can also see it a little different. I think that Jesus Christ helped Mary Magdalene have compassion for herself. This way he liberated her from "7 demons." By seeing herself in his presence, the presence of Pure Love, she accepted the Atonement that he was there to give her. What else could atonement be but the acceptance of the self as innocent and divine. Our "sins" are washed away by compassion. This is the moment in which Love transforms the Magdalene.

I don't really care whether the Magdalene was Jesus Christ's wife or not. It does not matter to the way I view this scene. Maybe Jesus was a healer that aligned her chakras, or maybe they were tantric lovers, or maybe he really exorcised her, or maybe she really was a prostitute and decided to change her life. These are all things I have come across while studying the Magdalene. But I like to keep it simple: The true instrument by which Mary Magdalene was transformed was Love. Is there any other possible explanation? I think this is the root to all the explanations. Mary Magdalene became one with Jesus Christ by his compassion and her willingness to see herself in the mirror of his Love.

This morning as I was taking a shower, I thought of the colors of this painting and realized something (we all know the best ideas come in the shower...) She is dressed in green just before her change. And green is the opposite color of red. From now on, she will be in red. I confess that I was thinking about green as the color of fertility as well as the color of hope. But I also know I chose this green because it was the only bright earth color that matched the color harmony in the painting. And that's the true reason why her dress is green!

Mary Magdalene surrendered to Love. She had compassion for herself and learned that her soul is pure. Christianity stands upon her vision of the Resurrection, a vision that cannot exist without imagination. She now dwells in the arms of peace, and guides all of us who ask her towards Infinite Love.

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If you are interested in this painting, a reproduction, or a greeting card, email me at tanyaetorres@yahoo.com or visit my store!

Song of the Magdalene: Mary Magdalene in the Garden

Mary Magdalene in the Garden, Oil on Canvas Board, 7” x 9”, 2005

This is the third Mary Magdalene I painted in 2005. She is in peaceful meditation, surrounded by light and nature. She is in a garden that has both live and dead plants. The green leaves contrast the reds of the dress, sky and flowers. The dove sits on a branch, watching over her.

I have been asked several times why I use the color red for my Magdalenes. In traditional iconography, the Magdalene's color is red, just like the Virgin Mary's is blue. It is interesting to note that early on the Virgin Mary wore red as well because it was the color worn by influential Jewish women, but an edict was issued by the Catholic Church that red was the color of a prostitute and that the Virgin Mary was to wear blue (read here to read more about this). Since a Pope declared Mary Magdalene to be the same person as the sinner in the Bible, her customary color became red.

My Magdalene is definitely not a prostitute, but an influential Jewish woman. Of course, when I painted this, I was only referring to traditional iconography, because I didn't know any better! Since then, I have learned that red is the color of passion, power and action. I think these are qualities of the traditional Magdalene. She had passion to follow Jesus Christ and become a disciple in search for knowledge, she had power over herself to make her own choices, and she took action by staying at the foot of the cross while the other apostles hid, and by being the first witness to the Resurrection, Apostle to the Apostles.

I also did not know at the time that Mary Magdalene is considered the patron saint of perfumers and gardeners. The flowers that appear in the painting are my made up flowers. One day, when I still had Mixta Gallery, I made a large mural drawing on the wall and drew some of these flowers. A friend, who is also a reverend and studies religion, told me that I drew the Vesica Venus. Later, he sent me some information, correcting himself and saying that he had meant Vesica Piscis. This is a symbol of great mysticism, that I had never studied, but that we all have seen in art and mathematics. Learning this was very important for me, because it made me aware of being in touch with knowledge I did not consciously have. But being poets, of course, my friends and I loved the first name, and it stuck. So I call these flowers Vesicas de Venus, and you will see them in several other paintings and drawings.

Finally, death. My experience with cancer taught me that death is always present. My paintings celebrate life, but they also contain, as I contain, the knowledge of death. For me, death means that we only have access to our bodies for a finite amount of time, and that we must use then as best as we can to learn and experience the joys of our own creation. And we do this by using our gifts and sharing them. So death is a contrast, like the branches contrast with the bright halo of the Magdalene, a light we all contain within ourselves, the light of Infinite Love. And Love is the other name of God.

The little dove is the Holy Spirit. She is watching over the Magdalene, really, they are one. Holy Spirit is Sophia is Wisdom. And Wisdom, or knowledge of ourselves, is the goal we all have for this life.

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I want to share with you that Mary Magdalene and Sarah is sold to a wonderful woman and her daughter, and is going to Ecuador for the New Year! It fills me with joy that my painting will be with people I feel close to in my heart and spirit. Thank you!

If you would like a reproduction or greeting card, visit my store!