Spirits of the Forest on Large Tiles

These Spirits of the Forest were part of an exhibition with the group 7 Women in Movement. I really love playing with the tile paints and the bright colors. It’s time to make more!
 

Return

For so long I haven’t been able to write, or draw, or do much painting. It all started when the house that my husband and I bought in 1997 started having problems. Then a lot of struggle. And a lot of decisions that, looking backwards, were bad decisions. Decisions of attachment. 

In the end, and after about 7 years, we stepped out and sold. All those years, I was itinerant. I lived in different places, back in the building, out again. Until I finally arrived at a place that is now home. I never thought I would live anywhere else but my house in East Harlem, where so many dreams became a reality, where my son grew up, where I grew up as an artist. But such is life, as they say.

The worst part was that all along, except for the time I spent in Puerto Rico in the beginning, I have been working full time and full strength. I return home every day exhausted and depleted, and even though it was necessary, I struggled a great deal to accept that, at least for a while, I would be a regular person with a regular job, with little time for art or poetry or friendship. I still haven’t accepted it.

I felt really disappointed in myself and my lack of energy. I felt like I was failing in my commitment to my artwork, and I chose to hide and be quiet for a while since I could not find my words.

It’s not that I was completely away. I made many watercolors while on zoom meetings in the pandemic. 

I participated in a MOMA project with the Rafael Tufiño Printmaking Workshop, and exhibited with the 7 Women in Movement. 

I taught a year-long workshop and took a trip to Puerto Rico with my students.

 I continued the Mary Magdalene Celebration, each year.

 I even created a poster for the Museo del Barrio. 

And also had the opportunity to participate in the Campechada in my town, San German, Puerto Rico.

I probably did a few other things, but was too sad and distracted to even post here. Whenever I sat down to write, I had no words. 

Then one day I started working on myself. It took a while to get myself back. I listened to a lot of podcasts and advice, I meditated non-stop (or tried) and started working on believing that I can reclaim my ideal life and my art. 

Little by little, things started happening, magic restarted. The building sold. I found an apartment to buy, an apartment very close to my mom’s and full of light all day. It took a few months to rebuild and furnish, and then a few months to feel at home. I started writing in the morning before going to work. Sometimes I could only write a sentence or two. I drew sigils with my wishes. I imagined things just like when I was 17 years old and wanted to escape New York. And finally, I started painting.

Mary Magdalene: The Flower of Life, by Tanya Torres, Oil on Canvas, 18”h x 24”w”, 2024.

By the end of 2024 and the first day of 2025, I have 2 new paintings and one in progress. I have a new book in progress. I feel like projects and life are finally within reach. 

I have promised my self the following:

Excellent food and nutrition: Nourished

Exercise and flexibility: Strong

Meditation and prayer: Elevated

Art every day: Creative

Business dream into reality: Disciplined

 

For this I created an impossible checklist: (Today, so far…)

✅ Writing 

☐Meditating
☐Breathing
✅ Healthy food
✅ Drawing
☐Painting
✅ ✅ Blog 

☐Yoga
☐Walking
☐Products
✅ Contact a friend
☐Planning
✅ Gratitude

This is the plan. Which translates into living every day the way I want to live every day, even if I still have a job and haven’t quite liberated myself from the aftershocks of the art-life-shaking events.

I have so much work to do, it’s scary. But the alternative is staying in place, in a place that while significant and of service to humanity, is not what my soul wants. 

I have had the opportunity to learn so many things about myself during this period. And the main thing that stands out is that I am unable to give up my life-long vision, a vision I realized and lost, but that refuses to leave my heart.

The time is now.

Trip to Puerto Rico After "A Year of Art at La Casa"

It's been a while since I last wrote here. Since 2018, my life changed so much that it took a while to find myself able to write again. 

But still, my soul is too restless to let go of the dream, and in an effort to bring myself back, I reached out to my community and asked who would like to embark on a painting journey that would culminate on a trip to Puerto Rico. 

La Casa de la Herencia Cultural Puertorriqueña and Executive Director Leticia Rodríguez welcomed and hosted the workshops at La Casa in El Barrio's Art Space.  We had workshops that included learning watercolor, acrylic painting and tile painting. It was really nice to sit together, paint and learn some facts about nature in Puerto Rico.

Nobody would be obligated to go and others who wanted to join only for the trip were welcome. My goal was to test an idea. How would it feel and how would it work to invite creative people for a workshop in my house-studio in Puerto Rico? Is it something I would like to do more formally in the future. Most who joined the class knew me and had been with me for many years, some for 20 years. They would be my guinea pigs and in exchange I would do my best to give them a memorable experience!

The workshops in NYC were meant to be a preparation so that the guests could have the basics before arriving. For me, it was a way to reconnect and raise my own energy. 

The small group arrived in the third weekend of August 2023. I asked them to arrive in San Juan so that we could take some time to visit Old San Juan or do anything else we might want to do. 

Hilda arrived that day, while Lily, Cristian and Julia were already in the island. I enrolled my mother for the trip to San Juan, about 2 hours away from San Germán, where my house is located. 

Photos by Hilda Massoud and Lillian Pérez

On the way to San German, we stopped at Guánica. This is supposed to be the place where the Americans arrived in or invaded Puerto Rico. The big rock on the promenade commemorates that moment. 

 

We decided to go see a beach, deeper into the coast of Guánica. It is the kind of landscape that most tourists don't get to see. As my guests had previously all visited Puerto Rico or even lived there, I planned to take them to visit places that most people don't know about or don't get to see when visiting Puerto Rico as regular tourists.  

Our friend Cristian made sure he got into each of the beaches we visited. He was always ready!

We arrived in Playa Santa, one of the best beaches in Guánica. It used to my my favorite back in the 90s. I had not been there for a while because there has been a lot of development and the last time I had visited during the Pandemic, it was incredibly full of people. On this beautiful day, it was not full and we even found the drinks stand open. 

My mom and I had some piña colada. 

We finally arrived at my house. My friend Waldemar, who helped me prepare everything for the guests, left the lights on for our arrival. He also placed candles all over the living room. I wish I had a photo of the candlelit place!

The terrace is always a wonderful place for rest and talk, a tertulia, some guitar music... we didn't have a musician, but next time!

Sounds of the night in Puerto Rico

The main bedroom, with a door to the terrace. When you wake up there, and open the door in the morning, the colors of dawn will envelop your in body and soul.

Downstairs in the morning, the light is so beautiful.

Hilda got served some coffee in my cup creation. "Because of a kiss..." see the lips on the right. The kiss bit off a piece of the saucer :)

Well, it's impossible to visit Puerto Rico and not have the national beer, right?

El Combate Beach is one of the most beautiful beaches of the west of Puerto Rico. We had visited Boquerón beach earlier and then drove to Combate for a great lunch next to the beach. This photo was taken by Hilda from where we were sitting. The restaurant is called "Annie's Place" and you could see the sunset as you eat. We had lunch and a lot of fun.

Here we are, Cristian, Waldemar (VP of Fun), me, Julia, Lily and Hilda, selfie master.

Our original plan was to visit a waterfall but our guide got sick so we had to change plans. Instead, we went to a very special place called Manglillo. It is in Guanica and it's a mangrove forest in the Caribbean Sea.

Welcome to Manglillo!

Enter through the mangroves.

Fish

Cristian, was he happy?

Lily and I. The sea opens after crossing the mangroves.

A beautiful pool among the mangroves.

We finally made it back to San German.

For a wonderful traditional meal cooked by Walde. See how happy these two look? They are about to eat.

Food is ready. Panas con bacalao (Breadfruit with codfish) and rice and beans.

We didn't paint as much as I had hoped... but we did have a great time!

Here is the meal. It was so good!

Julia is happy.

Hilda and Walde

Happy after eating. Our chef, Waldemar, really outdid himself. I'm sad we don't have a photo of the welcome Asopao. We light a fire outside and cook a chicken and rice soup as our welcome to the experience.

This is the floor upstairs. I decided to transform the simple plywood with some free hand flowers. 

The rocking chairs are waiting for Walde to fix them. These are traditional furniture made of wood and straw, so they require a special technique to fix them.

The little creatures that keep me company...

Unexpected and unplanned visit to El Pozo de la Virgen in Sabana Grande. Poor Julia was waiting for us in Cabo Rojo. Next time, everyone must stay in one town!

Statue of Ramon Emeterio Betances in Cabo Rojo, where we finally met Julia again!

We decided to visit the salinas in Cabo Rojo on our way to El Faro (The Lighthouse)

The colors on the salt water were amazing!

Next stop: Boquerón

Cristian wanted to attend a bombazo in Boquerón. So we all decided to go there. We also went in search of alcapurrias, a traditional fried food. But now I know that the west of Puerto Rico is not the place for eating alcapurrias. Most restaurants don't have them.  

Musicians in el Bombazo, or bomba music and dance. Many Puerto Rican people in NYC attend classes to learn to play and dance this type of Puerto Rican traditional music. And Cristian and Lily, and even Hilda, who is Palestinian, had taken dance classes. So Lily danced in a bombazo for the first time.

This is Cristian.

This is Lily.

Cristian and I

Hilda  and Lily (below) next to the "chinchorreo" bus. This is a new tratition in Puerto Rico. A group of friends rent a big, colorful bus together and visit all the roadside "chinchorros" eating and drinking places while playing music, singing, dancing and drinking some more. 

My guests could not leave without visiting San German. My beautiful town is full of antique buildings and beautiful places. It is a small and quiet town, so there are very few tourists. 

Porta Coeli is the second oldest church of the Americas.

Old pharmacy, now a museum.

Museum of the History of San Germán

Our last morning, after having breakfast in a traditional panadería (bakery, but much more) where you could order any type of food you could think of, we went to the last site planned, the Maricao State Forest. It is very high up in the mountains, so I learned that I need to tell people that before bringing them there!

Little Cristian

Little Walde

Little Lily, Tanya and Hilda

Adiós San Juan! This was the last stop before the airport. No photo of the airport. It's too sad to say good bye!!

This trip was very important for me for many reasons. It gave me an idea of something I can do in the future when I have the opportunity to spend more time at my house. It taught me that I have all the elements in place to create an unforgettable experience for those who may be interested in visiting Puerto Rico from a different perspective, and for a creative experience. And while my house is not for everyone as not all are willing to brave the lizards and other little creatures, it is a great place to share a meal, learn art and engage in a tertulia, nourishing the inner bohemian in all of us!

Sketch of the Experience

Activity: Paint a Spirit of the Forest or a Taino Symbol painting

Day 1 (Night)

Airport Pick up

Asopao by fire

Day 2

Coffee and Breakfast at my Casita

Starting a Painting

Visit to Boquerón Beach 

Dinner at Combate Beach at sunset

Day 3

Coffee and Breakfast at my Casita

Continue painting in the morning

Visit a waterfall (my wish for next time) or visit Manglillo Magrove forest in the Caribean Sea

Day 4

Finish painting

Maricao State Forest

Back to the airport!

Food: Asopao de pollo, bacalao con viandas, panaderia food (sandwiches, hot lunch -rice and beans and other complements), Coffee in special cup and saucer (haha :)

I hope my guests had a good time and learned new things about Puerto Rico. And I look forward to a new adventure with new guests in the future!